Steppes of Creation
Poetry and Other Commentary

These are current poems that I have written. Soon, I hope to include submitted poetry and short stories. As you can see, some of this poetry is very simple, but I have included a wide range of what I have written since grade school. It is in no particular order, but shows my evolution as a poetess and writer. It is a continuous evolution and one day I hope to rise to the sames plains as Toni Morrison and Maya Angelou tread. For now, here are my writings/thoughts and I share them with you all

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Insane

My life is an expected statistic
No matter what I do Im penciled in.
Morphine and valium to us is happy food.
The nation of freaks that will run the world.
The weak ones will die.
All the thoughts in my head bump into walls trying to get out.
They think Im crazy, but Im just an actor.
Im having fun and theyre scared.
I am the one who slits my wrists for pleasure.
Not for pain or release.
The warm sticky blood running down my arms and the hazy feeling washing over me
frees me in a way that you will never know.
When they call me psycho I scream hysterically.
When they try to sedate me, I go off of the wall.
I do it for freedom
I do it for pleasure
Because I am not crazy
I am insane.

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Euphoria

I look through a window and see water
Beautiful Rain
Deep Blue and Green Oceans filled with fish
Blowing bubbles with their human lips
Whispering dreams
I see underwater clouds
Steep pyres made from coral
I see the future
Silver
Rich
The golden sun warming the technological plain
Flowers growing pixies
Granting immortal wishes
With wings of lace and silver
I see night
The purple sky
The voices of Sirens luring men to their doom
Laughter of witches filling the night sky
I see myself
Dancing through the air
Flying
This is my world
And it makes me happy.

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The Flame

There is no here.
I am surrounded by people, yet no one is here.
I am asleep, but I am awake.
My life is a dream.
When will I wake up?
My imagination is my valium.
I am heavily sedated.
I want to die.
I want to cry.
Loneliness, the blade that has raked across my heart and throat draining my happiness
many times before is threatening me once again.
The seductive glint of death is tempting me.
Me.
The little moth.
Death.
The roaring flame.
I want it.
I need it.
No.
But the flame.
It is so tempting.
Death.
So releasing.
So relaxing.
Give into me.
No.
You want me.
Yes.
Touch the flame.
I look at life, but I see emptiness.
The peoples faces swirl together into one cruel contorted smile.
Touch the flame.
I look into the crowd for my family.
Touch the flame.
I see no one.
Touch it.
I reach out.
I feel the heat...

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Paranoia

If I could I would tear into your jugular and watch your blood pour down your throat just
for the sake of watching you die.
I feel hate and I want you to know it.
I want you dead and I want to show it.
I reap great satisfaction in your fear of me.
I want to devour you.
And ground your bones for my bread.
Watch your back.
Fear me.
Watch out for me.
Beware of my hunger for carnage.
Never let your guard down.
I will always be in the shadows.
I will always be watching you.

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Mango

The slippery fruit of the mango is tentalating
The joy of its taste and smell can only be matched by the flesh of a woman
The pure aphrodisiac smell of the female body buds in heat and stimulates
the senses
The feel
The touchof a mango
Smell the sticky sweet fruit through the skin
The velvety softness of the woman
The taste of the mango driving the senses wild.
The only way to fully enjoy this fruit is to eat it with bare hands
Cheating with a knife will never teach you how to truly please a woman
Eat it with everything
Eyes
Smell
Taste
Touch
Let the senses roll into one
Let the sticky juice roll down your throat
Let the juice fill your mouth
hold it
then swallow
Allow the pulpy juice to tickle your throat
Taste the woman
Taste her lips
Taste her sweetness
Taste her mango
Squeeze her breasts
Squeeze the fruit
The stickiness of the mango when peeled
The stickiness of her belly after lovemaking
Watch the water drip from her after a shower
The steam rise from her skin
The same as the juice drips from the mango after it is peeled and the
sensual aroma of its own juices fill a room
Both, burning for your mouth
Both, so vulnerable
Both, so sweet
Feel the emotions run rampant at thier smell
Feel it in yourskin
Through your eyes
Let the euphoria of sexual desire course through your body
Until woman and fruit
Desire and fantasy
Become one

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Bug in a Lantern

Theres a bug in my lantern
Above my bed
How long its been there
I do not know
but I've been staring at it
since i've been here
Over two weeks
He
She
It
maybe she
staring at me
though I can't be more than a silhoutte
she
staring at me
me
staring at her
How did she get in there?
Is she sick?
is she scared?
Is she dead?
I tap on the lantern and she doesn't move
What a horrible way to die
cold
alone
starving to death in a foriegn place
Will her death wear on my soul?
I saw her for weeks and did nothing
Irrational fears ran through my mind
what if she crawled on me?
what if the lantern fell on me?
What thoughts ran though her mind?
Did she feel pain as she died?
she died isolated in a foreign place surrounded be foriegn people
noone to mourn her
noone to careor remember
I could see her full outline in the light of day
now, I can hardley see a shadow of her form
Was she ever alive?
Is it just me personified in that lantern?
Aren't we all just bugs in a lantern...
praying for someone to let us out

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Untitled
 
What is Black?
Is it a color?
Is it a creed?
I am black
But what does that mean?
Is black the way someone talks?
Or walks?
Or presents oneself?
Is it the way one dresses?
Or is it an attitude?
Is it something to be imitated?
Marketed
And exploited?
Is it copout to be used when asked why one can't succeed?
Is it a stigma?
Or a blessing?
Can one really act black?
How can you act a way that you can't define?
Is black able to be categorized?
Does it speak to skin color?
If so then what are high yellows
Or honey complexions
Brown sugars
Mochas
Blue blacks
Skillet Blonds
And the like.
Is it something to shun?
To turn away from?
To rise above?
Is it negative?
Is it even an it?
Black is black
Not the color but something much deeper
It is an identity
A heritage
It, black, Afro-American, African American, stretches beyond mere color.
It is a heritage
Often imitated
But never duplicated.
It is a bond.
An African bond
Black
Beautiful Black is a bond of unity
Umoja
It is strength in numbers.
It is something so sacred that most of us dont even realize its power.
Our lips
Our hair
Our skin
Our voice
Poetic
Rich
Truthful
We've been taught to hate this thing called Black
We've been taught to replace it with Nigger
Savage
Tar Baby
Mau Mau
We've been brainwashed to aspire to a new identity
An acceptable identity
One not so dark
As to be called black
We've been taught that black is a bad thing.
To bleach our skin
To straighten our hair
To forget our history
To become complacent
Gentile
Light
bright
and damn near white
But this is not our heritage
This a lie
We are rich
Strong
Beautiful
Black People
We come from a rich history
A beautiful continent
Our identity has been smeared
Erased
Skewed
Edited
If we are not a proud people then why are our predecessors so great?
Why are we so imitated?
Anything that we invent or do is copied marketed and separated from us
Our oppressive neighbors have come to the frustrating conclusion that try as they might, you can stick feathers up your butt, but that doesn't make you a chicken
Perms
Tanning
Collagen Implants
Body padding to make their bodies more voluptuous
There are even more of them studying our history than us.
Why are we so ashamed of who we are?
And why are they so intrigued?
We are black
Black is us
A heritage
An identity 
A history
A treasure
Say it loud
Be Black and Proud

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Ocean of Madness

Darkness surrounds all
Carry the darkness in your heart
Let it free your soul
Encompassing your whims and desires
Walk on the edge and feel the blade of lunacy
Dark waves of sanity
Revelations so pure as to drive insane masses
Wallow in the ocean of darkness
Leave your fears on the shore
And I will be your light.

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Popular

That thorn in my side is throbbing again
A pain so potent as to make my head spin
In love with the pain
Pounding like a heavy rain
Dragging me down
Making me drown
I love to float
Feeling lost
To take a blade the wrong way
And feel my own heart frost
Not knowing what to do
Having no one to turn to
Feeling so thirsty
An overwhelming taste for carnage
I will make the world my entree
My own buffet to ravage
The world has grown dark
A thick gothic forest
I hear beautiful cries
That blend into a mystic chorus
I want to be away
Make the world a safer place to stay
I want to take away the pain
And never bring it back again
The throbbing pain
The pounding rain
The horrible screeching sound
My own tears falling to the ground
I refuse to give into
The pain that Im going through
I wont let hate
Seal my own fate
I have committed no sin
I just dont fit in.

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Virgin

The heat in the room rises
A heavy scent of wanting hangs in the air
Anticipation is torture
Waiting
Wanting
Wanting to feel
free
so free
Waiting to release passion and hidden urges
Touching
for the first time
Getting intoxicated off of each others bodies
no holding back
no saying no
The crushing pleasure
How long can you hold them inside of you
without moving
without crying out
just holding on
letting the floodgates open
for the first time
scratching their back
for the first time
please dont move
dont talk
just love me
show me how much you love me
over and over again.

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Notch in a Lipstick Case

Dancing in the flames of fiery dreams
Pleasure gained from pain is euphoric
Angels falling from the sky into the sea
Playing with submissive mermaids
I see you
Scared and Confused
Drown in my pool of reason
Twisted reason
Eat from my forbidden tree
Turn on the light and see the truth
Camouflaged lies lost in moral words
Cry out in pleasure
Laugh in pain
The stillness in the air intoxicates me
The forewarning of a mysterious odyssey
Woman or Man
Still the same
Mine to have
Mine to use
Ill take you places that you cannot imagine
Make adrenaline rush through your body
Yet I am subdued
I like to use
It is what I am
I am dark, but seem light
I am evil, but seem sweet
I will hurt you
And you will beg for more
My thoughts will haunt you through long, cold nights
I wrote this for you
It doesnt make sense
I dont make sense.

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Boredom

I want to dance with a train
Skate on thin ice
Dive into a jagged cliff
Tango with sharks
Have tea with a Bengal Tiger
Sky dive over the Atlantic without a chute
Take a nap in the clouds
Paint with the blood flowing from my wrists
Share my deepest thoughts with a mirror
Sitting in this room with nothing but your voice
Shut Up! Shut Up!
Damn You.

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Look at Me

When you look at me, what do you see?
Do you see a black girl,
Ignorant and happy?
Do you sympathize with my "people"
Feel bad for us poor black Negroes?

Do you think your better than me?
Look at me.
What do you see:
Black skin
Bulky frame
Thick Lips
Kinky Hair
Loud Mouth.

Your more ignorant than I thought.
See what's there:
Caramel coffee skin
Curvy statuesque goddess
Full mouth
Wavy brown hair the color of mahogany
And attitude to spare.

My "people" were kings and queens
Before yours were fully evolved.
We erected monuments that continue to stand today,
Before yours mastered language.
My ancestors mastered everything and are given credit for so little.

Proud Queen of Sheba, Queen in her own right.
Dark skin
An African woman
If you asked for a picture of her,
She is drawn as a blond Nordic Ice Queen
White
And in the shadow of a man.

What of Queen Cleopatra?
The Ptolemaic Macedonian ruler.
It's funny how she's portrayed as in the
Middle of the hot Sahara desert that
Sun kisses African's skin even today, but she is devoid
Of even a tan.
Not knocking Elizabeth Taylor
But why can't we portray this dark queen
With dark skin.
She was a military genius
Yet she is only remembered today for
her romps with Caesar and Mark Anthony.

Speaking of more cultural rape:
South Africa
If you want to feel bad for slavery
Feel bad for the slavery that still goes
On today.
Enlighten your "brothers" in South Africa
How can your "people" come into a country
that doesn't belong to them and make the native
People feel and act subservient.
To be fair, I guess the formula has worked for your "people"
In New Zealand, Australia, Hawaii, the Americas,
and just about every other continent in the world.

And how about my "people".
I have no people.
I am not the voice of my race.
They did not all come to me
And nominate me Ambassador.
Do you represant your race?
Do they all come to you
With their petty concerns?
We do not all eat soul food
We do not all salivate over fried chicken.
Statistics about us are lies.
Most of us are educated.
We do not all spew ebonics.
We do not all
Do drugs
Riot
Like rap music
Have a police record
Or a baby's daddy
Or Like Malt Liquor

And we are not Blacks
Black is a word to describe
Something vile, unsavory, and unwanted.
The Black Plague
Black Death
Black Flag
We are descendants of our ancestry in Africa.
African-American to be exact.
Remember that.
Now, what do you see?